I can remember as a wee lass around the age of 4 or 5 telling my mum there was a River in my head. I spoke to her about this last year before she died, and she recalled me saying this on a few occasions. She didn't really understand what I meant but she never made me feel as if it was odd to do so, therefore, at the time, I thought everyone did. It wasn't until later on in life I realized many did not know of this flowing river so to speak. Let me explain this river that flowed through my being as my being - and yours too, even if you are not yet conscious of it...
The River in my mind, or rather as a mindset I adopted, was where I went to bathe, to cleanse myself of the dust of the world. Dust being thoughts and feelings that weighed on me, narrowing my spiritual vision - breaking my heart with their heaviness. The Subconscious, which was in fact my River - my Temple, which people often refer to as the heart due to it being felt rather than thought, will hold onto emotion, through the formation of emotional habit patterns that unconsciously regenerate emotional responses that have nowhere to go due to our avoidance in dealing or acknowledging them. Often, we deem them too painful to address, so we develop addictions and distractions that help us avoid dealing with these painful emotions stirred up by thoughts egoically inspired. We become so efficient in doing this that we actually forget and become unconscious of what did initially hinder us. Of course, years later, we find ourselves having to do copious shadow work (Therapy of some type) to uncover what we spent years avoiding.
Unfortunately, emotional pressure builds within the Subconscious body, for emotion (E- Motion) is energy. It needs to be expressed or released somehow in some way or it will turn on the body causing it to be ill at ease aka diseased. It is like having your foot hard down on the accelerator while in neutral. You are spinning your wheels but going nowhere. Wearing the vehicle - yourself out. You have to take your foot off. You have to eventually let it all out and let go. Float. Go with the flow. Resist not.
While bathing in this river, my mind was at peace as there were no thoughts or feelings to disturb my childlike peace. I allowed the flow of incoming water aka Love from the Awareness of thy River or Temple to wash them away. This Awareness that is Soul was felt at different levels of being. You could say the River had different depths. Firstly, it was felt and known as my Subconscious Awareness, then as the Awareness of my Incarnate Soul, then as the Present Moment, which was the collective all subconscious minds in the universe. Then it was known as all these states at once aka Thy One True Undifferentiated Soul. These thoughts and emotions that disturbed my peace dissolved as anything would with a current of water (Soul) washing over it. Darkness is like that. You never have to remove it. It just disappears as soon as light enters for it has no life of its own. Once Cause comes, effect is affected. Once washing off the dust that had settled around me, I floated in a river of stillness and peace that allowed me to receive information, that I never asked for. This flow of information was just part of the river that I as a child took refuge in. It was part and parcel of 'Being' Now. Of being at home in the River.
The reason answers come when the mind is still (Bathing in the river) as opposed to busy is because if the Conscious Mind aka thought is present in its own thoughts, then it is absent in its Temple (River) therefore, is not conscious of any intuition flowing forth to inform or guide it. It is like someone telling you some really important information while your attention is completely wrapped up in something else like your phone or a movie you are watching etc. You are not going to hear a word they say. If your presence of being, if your attention or consciousness is in its Temple aka the moment and free then you are able to become conscious of your own Soul guiding you through tuition. If your presence or attention is attending your thoughts, feelings, and their consequent physical manifestations, then you will not be home in your Temple or River to receive the word - your Daily Bread.
I can and have many times likened the Conscious Mind aka thought to the epiglottis that either serves the stomach or the lungs depending on how it holds itself in service of the body. It stays open when serving the lungs and closes when serving the stomach. So too with the Conscious Mind. It is either going to serve itself by thinking or serve its Spirit by 'Being' aka meditation. It will serve the ego (false sense of Self) by keeping its presence (Consciousness) in its own self-generated thought or it is going to serve Spirit by being present in its own temple - Awareness aka Soul. One cannot be in two places at once serving two different masters.
You as mind are Consciousness, however, never mistake yourself for the true Self or true Consciousness. You won't know the true Self- your true Consciousness (I) until you know yourself as Soul or Awareness (Am) first. Therefore, you must as the vehicle or instrument Consciousness of mind, become conscious of being Awareness. This is done by being 'consciously' present in the present moment. This brings your conscious and subconscious mind together as One. Once they are One they become a channel or portal if you like. Your Consciousness through being present in the moment - in itself, will deepen over time to depths of your Being that heretofore you never knew existed.
Remember always that if you are present in thought, then you are no longer in the river. You are no longer free to receive tuition from within. You are either going to listen to the voice of Spirit that speaks in silence of and as your Awareness (Soul), through knowing and intuition or you are listening to your own voice as your own thoughts. Do you see?
Awareness or Soul is the activity of body of Spirit aka Consciousness. I Spirit Am Soul. Once you know your own Soul, your Consciousness as mind and as Spirit merge as one. Communion with the true Self then becomes union. One.
~ Tracy Pierce
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