In the practice of becoming conscious of yourself as Awareness, the first level of Awareness, you as the Conscious Mind meets, is the Awareness of your Subconscious. Until this Temple, is purified and brought into a state of balance, you as the Conscious Mind (Thinking Mind) will not be able to dwell for very long. No one can stay long in the pain body which are emotions not dealt with. We must deal with them and lay to them to rest so that we as the Mind can rest in Peace before being born again of Spirit Aka Realizing the true Self.
The Awareness of the moment, nor the Awareness of Soul, cannot be fully attended by Ones Presence until this healing work is done. Until one has healed their Subconscious of negative tendencies (Vasanas) one cannot become the Present Moment Awareness needed to Awaken.
This takes time. Be patient, loving and forgiving with yourself in healing aspects of your being that has lived in you for many lifetimes. This part of the journey back home is often referred to as the hardest. However, as the saying goes - and this too shall pass.
~ Tracy Pierce